Death of Common Sense

Padded lampposts for distracted texters

They Say:
“According to a recent report, human beings are becoming so incredibly stupid that they require cushioned lamppost bases so that when they run into them they don’t mess up their idiotic faces. Apparently, a study in the UK found that one in ten people actually managed to hurt themselves by walking into a post while peering down at their mobile phone screen. The mishaps — called “walking and texting” injuries — have spurred the charity Living Streets to launch the padded-post-pilot scheme in Brick Lane, London. It seems that if all goes well, there are plans to roll out the idiot-proof system in Birmingam, Manchester, and Stupidton.”

We Say:
Ho… Wha… Wh… *brain explodes*

Are we such fucking IDIOTIC lemmings that we seriously need to trial these things…? Surely not… I had held greater hopes for mankind, but my hopes have been dashed…

If you watch the movie attached to the above article, you will surely shake your head as hard as I did… Please tell me that this is some sort of joke?  The mind boggles, surely getting an injury in such a way would ward against you doing it again, right?  Well with padded fucking posts people will be bouncing off them left, right and centre… Hey let’s just not watch where we’re going at all, let’s just pad everything on the street… Coming to a dealership near you, the new Ford Foam… with padded panels for your safety… Give me a fucking break… If you’re going to text… STOP WALKING!

And to the Indian dude that reads his book while walking out of the train station in the mornings, if I have to slow down for you once more, I *WILL* mow you down… And I won’t come with fucking padding either… You’re on notice… 

Two words… Fuck… That…

Our office has had a resident huntsman spider, Sammy, for the last week, two nights ago he moved from his usual spot above the Sales Managers office door.

He was found by a few staff members, but his whereabouts remained a mystery to most… Until today that is… One of the female staff members found him in a corridor that leads to our lunchroom… And of course a bit hoo-ha was made about it and calls for it to be disposed with…

We’ve recently had a new staff member come on board, a new MD, this new staff member has served time in Vietnam, so he’s no pushover… He walks up to the spider, reaches up and prods it a few times and it falls onto his shirt! Cool as a cucumber he cups it in both his hands, walks outside and lets it go in the front garden! People sat in amazement as our new MD calmly walked through the office with a massive huntsman spider cupped in his hands…

A coworker and myself were just discussing this on MSN, he’s of Asian descent, originally from Hong Kong, he has lived in Australia since he was 3… So he’s an Aussie through and through… Of what just happened he said, “It must have been Nam!” and continued, “yeah don’t want to cross him!! He’ll put you in a death lock!! Fuck imagine if my name was Charlie!! He’ll go crazy!!”

Now that is a sense of humour…. I had to share that joke…