Death of Common Sense

Possible murder charge for cricket bat attack

They Say:

“Charges may be upgraded against a man who faced court today over a Christmas Day cricket bat attack which left a Geraldton father of five dead.  William John Rowe, 49, a sheep farmer from Yalgoo, 350km east of Geraldton on Western Australia’s mid west coast, died in hospital on Boxing Day.

He and his family were allegedly attacked by about 25 people as they played cricket at Sunset Beach in Geraldton.  Mr Rowe was allegedly hit on the head with his own cricket bat as he tried to retrieve it from the group.  Mathew Roy McDonald, 21, of no fixed address, appeared in the Geraldton Magistrates Court today charged with grievous bodily harm.”

We Say:

FUCK YEA!

Beach brawl started over drinks

They Say:

“A Grandfather was viciously beaten to death with his own bat while playing beach cricket after he challenged a group of men who were stealing drinks from his cooler. Thugs pelted William John Rowe with beer bottles and then bashed him with the bat he and his family were using to play beach cricket on Christmas Day.

The brawl between the farmer and another group of Christmas revellers occurred about 9pm on Geraldton beach, north of Perth. According to police, the 49-year-old father-of-five and his family were playing cricket when they were approached by a group of people. A verbal dispute took place, with the group leaving the scene only to return later in greater numbers.

During the melee, Mr Rowe, a sheep farmer from Yalgoo, WA, was hit in the head with his own cricket bat, knocking him unconscious. His 29-year-old future son-in-law Luke was slashed in the face with a broken bottle and had his jaw and collarbone broken. Both were taken to Geraldton Regional Hospital where Mr Rowe died at 2.30am yesterday. The younger man was still being treated yesterday and required 35 stitches to his face. As yet no one has been arrested over the attack and police have made a public plea for witnesses to come forward.”

We Say:

This both saddens and angers the fuck out of me… To have a man killed and another badly injured over some FUCKING DRINKS!?!?!?!? And for it to occur on Christmas Day, just un-fucking-believable…

If the ‘angry mob’ are found, I hope the premier of WA re-introduces capital punishment just for this special case… I mean Jesus Christ, how fucking low can you get, fucking winners, bet they feel real big, let’s kill a fucking grandfather on Christmas Day, I hope you get raped while getting stabbed in the eye with a poisoned knife…

To go on with potential punishments when these fucking cowards are caught, a list….

• Hung by their hands with tenderhooks at just the right height to have the population of WA come and smash them in the nuts with cricket bats…
• Bound and gagged, covered with honey and jam and thrown onto fire ants nests…
• Handed over to Japanese commanders for torture, WWII style… Fingernails… Water torture… The works…
• Have the words “I’m a gutless cunt” etched on their foreheads with acid.
  

Die in hell you cowardly fuckers…

Brain tumour sufferer has surgery on knee

They Say:
“Tanzanian authorities say it was “gross negligence” that led to a mix-in which a brain tumour sufferer had his knee operated on and a knee patient underwent brain surgery. On November 8, surgeons at Tanzania’s main Muhimbili Hospital opened the skull of Emmanuel Didas to remove a non-existent brain tumour while Emmanuel Mgaya, who had the tumour, underwent knee surgery.

An health ministry official report faulted doctors and nursed for “gross negligence” that led to the blunder. Mr Didas is in India having further treatment, where he is reportedly doing well, but Mr Mgaya died four days after a second operation. ”

We Say:
“Gross negligence” you say… I’d call it a monumental fuck up! I’d be willing to forgive them if the surgery on either patient was in the same vicinity, but brain vs knee, my fucking sweet jesus, those two items could not be any further apart…

How in gods name they mixed those two patients up… “Ok, lets open this guys skull, man look at this dudes knee, he should see a doctor, looks swollen…” Well no dah fuck features!

Apparently Mr Didas went to India for further treatment, your loss mate… And funnily enough Mr Mgaya’s tennis game improved out of sight, moving freely on his operated knee, just a fucking pity his brain tumour killed him a week later… You fucking morons… *Strikes Tanzania off his holiday list*

Police shoot actors filming crime scene

They Say:
“Angola’s interior minister today criticised police marksmen who shot dead two actors while they were filming a crime drama in the capital Luanda. After visiting commanders of the station where the officers responsible for the killings are based, General Leal Monteiro Ngongo said they had failed to assess “the situation they encountered in a logical, rational and scientific manner”.

The two actors were killed and three others wounded on Tuesday while filming a bank robbery scene for a crime drama called No Mercy. Director Radical Ribeiro said he had received police clearance to film in a crime-ridden suburb but the marksmen suddenly arrived in a pick-up truck and began shooting until he shouted out their victims were actors.”

We Say:
Well there’s one for the irony lovers, the name of the show they were filming was ‘No Mercy’, that’s cold, but irony nonetheless… I’m actually very surprised to see that more actors in the US aren’t killed by the same level of law enforcement competency..

Angola’s law enforcement budget must be huge, to see them rock up in a pick-up truck, fuck me, that just oozes class… Funny thing that their rifles were recently replaced with 9mm UZIs… Anyone else notice a gross misplacement of funds… Oh lets get the UZIs… What about our cars??? Fuck it, we’re got pick-up trucks bitch, we’ll pimp those out!

Perhaps I’m misdirecting my anger towards their car choice, what about the common fucking sense of the police officers themselves… I’m fearful of the justice handed out in that fucked up country, see something remotely dodgy and fuck, START SHOOTING!!! UZIs AWAY!! I’d certainly hate to jaywalk in Angola, I’d need to invest in a bullet-proof vest… Oh, is swearing illegal in Angola….? *Strikes Angola off his World Tour*

Passport office in need of spellcheck

They Say:
“Israel’s national passport office could have done with a good spellchecker. First it stamped “Ministry of the Intrerior” in English in new batches of passports. Then it advised Israelis of the misspelling in a jumbled newspaper advertisement today that only compounded the mistake.

“Due to a technical error in some of the Ministry’s stampsthe document you received may have been stampedwith an flawed stamp”, the Interior Ministry said in a notice in the English-language Jerusalem Post. The newspaper said its advertising department was responsible for mistakes in the ministry’s ad, which urged people with the faulty passports to apply for new documents.”

We Say:
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the forward thinking nation of Israel!

How the fuck a speeling mistake like Intrerior can get past the first draft is beyond me… In fucking passports!!! It’s not like the mistake was in a brochure that’s going to collect dust at an airport….

Perhaps Israel should spend a little more dosh on their education programs or perhaps invest in a proofreader, their choice… Or they could funnel some money away from their Army…? But that’s for another rant…  

Burglar asks homeowner for lift to station

They Say:

“A DRUG-addled burglar threatened the owner of a house with a samurai sword before asking for a lift to the nearest train station, a court has been told. The Brisbane District Court was told that Thanh Liem Trinh, 33, broke into a house in Wynnum, in Brisbane’s east, on December 5 last year.

Owner Peter Hammond returned home in the early afternoon to find Trinh ransacking his home. The court was told he confronted Trinh, who told Mr Hammond that he was searching for jewellery. Trinh then picked up a samurai sword that was in the bedroom and threatened Mr Hammond, telling him he would use it to cut him. Mr Hammond told Trinh to leave, however Trinh followed the homeowner out of the bedroom and asked if he could be driven to the nearest train station.

When they arrived at Wynnum Station Trinh took his sword and boarded a train, while Mr Hammond drove directly to the nearest police station to report the burglary. Trinh was captured on security videos at the station and was later apprehended at a house in Annerley, in Brisbane’s south. Police officers found him to be in possession of a stolen bottle of cologne.”

We Say:
Oh fuck me… Next we will have people robbing banks and taking the bus… Oh… Hang on, that’s already happened… Oh… Thank God this guy was off his head when he committed this crime, I would have worries otherwise…

What goes through the mind of someone like this… Right… Need money, jewelery… yea jewelery… Oh fuck… Who are you? Err, I need money… Right… Might head off now… Oh… Couldn’t give me a lift to the station could you?? What a fucktard… Lookup the definition of moron, you would see this guys photo holding his fucking samurai sword…

Weapon of choice, samurai sword, giving credit where credit is due, a samurai sword is a fucking cool weapon… Just a little hard to hide it for the getaway, which is perhaps why he wanted a ride… Low key exit… I guess he forgot his bus pass??

Angry teen makes home drive-thru

They Say:

“Police say a furious teenager who drove a car through the centre of his family home on Tuesday night did so in a bid to get back at his mother after an argument. It’s believed the 18-year-old had a heated exchange with his mum before he deliberately drove through the Shailer Park home about 11pm, chalking up a $30,000 damage bill.

He passed a breath test and police are waiting on the results of blood tests to determine if drugs were involved. Police said he appeared confused when questioned. Last night, police had not charged the teenager and were expected to wait for the results of blood tests before deciding if charges should be pressed. It was not known when the blood results would be available.”

We Say:
Jesus Christ, when did the youth of Australia stop using knives and guns to express themselves, a fucking car!!! What a fucking little twerp, when I was a kid you used your mouth to voice your dissatisfaction at something, not drive a fucking car into the house!

The drug tests results are still not available, well if positive it would explain a lot… If not, that is one fucked up puppy…

If Australian mothers are anything to go by, this kid will be beaten with a wooden spoon to within an inch of his life, and fucking right too! By the looks of the pictures, the damage he did WITH the car are worth MORE than the car, make it at least a Commodore next time… you Dickwad…..

Driving is ‘good time’ to use mobiles

They Say:
“Australians believe using a mobile phone while driving is a good opportunity to catch up with friends or to do business.
They think there is little likelihood of being pulled over and fined or losing points from their licence. PhD researcher Shari Walsh, from Queensland University of Technology’s school of psychology and counselling, said her survey sampled 800 people at various times at a travel centre service station south of Brisbane.

“The most commonly reported reason for people using their phone while driving was that they thought it was an effective way to use their phone, so they are using their time in the car that they believe would otherwise be unoccupied,” she said. So it’s not just that they feel disconnected but more about the fact that people think it’s important to use their time and to hear what’s going on.”

We Say:
*sigh* For fucks sake people, I expect to see such a study come out of the US, not my homeland, you fucktards!

I’ve come up with my own custom ‘good time to’ list… Enjoy:

• Find your inner child - On a football field, during a game…
• Deciding Sachin Tendulkar is the devil - At a Cricket match in Mumbai…
• Finding Jesus - During an Extreme Atheists Rally…
• Realise you shouldn’t be talking on your mobile phone while driving - picking windscreen out of your forehead\nose\chin\ear\eyes\teeth\lips…

Australians all let us… Grow a fucking brain and realise, mobile phones are not to be used when driving, you drive a car when driving… That is all…

Pedestrian fined for walking over car

They Say:
“Pedestrian has been charged with damaging property after walking over a car that was parked illegally on the pavement in Greece’s congested capital. “I could not get past the vehicle, a four-wheel drive, which had been parked right on the pavement so I got angry and just walked over it, slightly denting its hood,” Tasos Pouliasis said to state television today.

The owner of the vehicle in Athen’s Exarhia neighbourhood saw Pouliasis and called police who arrested him and his girlfriend and briefly detained them in a police cell. “Now I will be tried for property damage but police did not even bother giving the car owner a parking ticket,” Pouliasis said.”

We Say:
I think it’s time for Greece to enact some fucked up laws, don’t you? I don’t think the pedestrian went far enough to be honest, I think he should have been able to slash the tires, knock out a few windows, piss in the gas tank, bend his wipers, knock off the side mirrors, dent a few panels, key one entire side and steal the manufacturer badge…

I personally fucking hate when drivers do this to me, I swear I’m going to start carrying an extendable baton for just such an occasion… And the fact the driver didn’t get a ticket either, what the fuck were police doing on the scene to begin with, does the Greek police force have a goddamn psychic in every fucking car now…? Or perhaps they saw the car blocking the footpath and thought, fuck, someones going to explode here, let’s watch… Only to be distrubed by the driver witnessing the incident…

There’s a point there too, I wonder what footpaths are for? Fuck me they’re for pedestrians to walk on, shithead…

Saudi king pardons teenage rape victim

They Say:
“Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah has pardoned a teenager sentenced to six months in jail and 200 lashes after being gang raped, al-Jazirah newspaper has reported. The ruling against the 19-year-old woman in the deeply conservative Muslim kingdom had attracted widespread international condemnation, including from human rights groups and the White House.

The woman, 18 at the time of the rape, was attacked at knifepoint by seven men after she was found in a car with a man who was not a relative, in breach of strict Saudi law. In October 2006 a judge sentenced her to 90 lashes for being with the man, a taboo in a kingdom that imposes segregation of the sexes. She appealed against the sentence but the court still ruled that her punishment should be increased to 200 lashes and a six-month jail term.”

We Say:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the religion of Islam… Sit in a car with an unrelated man, get gang raped and get jail time… Am I the only fuckwit sitting here bemused going, “what… the… fuck… how… the…. fuck?”  And to have seven men beat and rape you because of it, fuck when did vigilante justice get re-introduced, I missed that memo yea?

This brings up some interesting potential new laws encouraging vigilante justice in Australia… Cos fuck, other countries are doing it…

• If found not in the presence of beer during summer months, you will be beaten with thongs until you chug a longneck… you bastard…
• If found not within 25 metres of a TV or radio during hours of play of the day of a one-day international cricket match, your partner will be stolen and tortured by Warney, male or female, Warney does not discriminate…
• If your car is found to have those poofy little racing decals, you will be dragged out, hog tied and beaten with a cricket bat until you swear allegiance to Ford or Holden…

Let me get this right… It’s illegal for a women to sit in a car, or be in the presence alone with an unrelated male… Jesus, the nightclub scene in Saudi Arabia must be booming, Ministry of Sound are currently writing off their losses from their Saudi push… Ooops…I salute the King of Saudi Arabia, King Ababababaabbabbbbadullah… Oh hang on, hanging shit on the King is probably an offense in Saudi Arabi… *Crosses Saudi Arabia off Holiday list* Easy come, easy go…