Death of Common Sense

Noooo! Stooooop!

Deer Park lollipop man banned from high-fiving children

They Say:

A LOCAL council has banned a school crossing supervisor from giving children high-fives on their way to and from school. Lollipop man Charlie Cremona has been a happy face welcoming the children of Deer Park North Primary School for the past 18 years and helps 130 children safely cross the road each day.

The Brimbank Leader reports that after standing in the sun, rain and wind twice daily for all those years, Mr Cremona was stunned when told recently he must stop “high-fiving” students and parents on his Hovell St crossing. Brimbank general manager of city development Peter Collina confirmed the ban was in response to a parent’s complaint.

“(The) council is investigating further into the complaint and it would therefore not be appropriate to comment further at this stage,” Mr Collina said. Parents are outraged at the ban and have started a petition to bring back Mr Cremona’s high-fives, which has 400 signatures so far.

 We Say:

Wha… Bu…. Ho…. Whe… Fu….

Does anyone else think this is FUCKING TYPICAL OF COUNCILS!!!  Apparently this week they’re not happy enough gathering parking fines like scum sucking moss bacteria! Go and plan some other monstrosity you fucking morons!

They received a complaint… so lemme get this straight, they act QUICKLY on banning some dude high-fiving kids, and yet they spend a fucking YEAR deciding on the colour of the curtains for their offices!! I’m at a loss, I really am… Of ALLLLLL the things to ban… How much does this guy make, surely not much… Let’s turn our attention back to OTHER council workers, like the same dozen workers we see around a hole in the ground, scratching their arses…! I bet you they get paid more than this lollipop dude… For fucks sake… *sigh*

*Ahem* a list of items the council should be more concerned about, rather than this fucking horrific bureaucratic overuse of power:

1. Look at changing the colour those council workers wear, I mean, come on, flouro-orange is sooo 2002! Budget: $1.6mil Timeframe: 1 year.
2.  Please, please have someone look at your own website, please… It makes me feel nauseous… Or at least make sure it works in FIREFOX, the days of using Interweb Exploration are over… Well, to the educated… I’m not going to name and shame the developers of the site, but have a look in the disclaimer of the site… idiots… Budget: $700k Timeframe: 6 months
3. Continue to build and fix bus shelters with windows, cos hey, they can be fucking broken often enough…What a fucking waste of money they are… DON’T PUT FUCKING WINDOWS IN THEM, STUPID LITTLE CUNTS BREAK THEM!!! Budget: Common Fucking Sense. Timeframe: Yesterday!

That should keep you fuckers busy for now…

And to the parent(s) that complained… Seriously, get a fucking life… It’s a high five… Not a fucking Wet Willy or a Wedgie… Grow a brain…. Fucktards…

*Drafts letters to Department of Human Services to ‘report’ inappropriate behaviour* Anyone got the details of the people who reported him? Remember people: Don’t get bitter… Get better…

YOU were to blame for your death, no one else…

Gemma Thoms panicked, swallowed drugs at Big Day Out

They Say:

Ms Thoms, a 17-year-old trainee hairdresser, died after collapsing in 36C heat at the festival, held at Perth’s Claremont Showground on Sunday.  Her friends have told police that before entering the venue, she panicked and swallowed three ecstasy tablets she was carrying because she feared the drugs would be detected by police dogs.

NSW Greens MP Sylvia Hale said she had repeatedly warned governments about the likelihood of a death similar to that of Ms Thoms if sniffer dogs continued to be used at such events. She said a 2006 report by the NSW Ombudsman had concluded the dogs were ineffective.

Insp Silver said Ms Thoms was understood to have taken ecstasy before her arrival at the venue, and that her friends had indicated she feared the other tablets she was carrying would be detected.

YACWA has claimed that it is irresponsible to target popular music events, without first working with young people to educate them about their rights and the possible impacts illicit substance use could have their health.

We Say:

Oh I’m sorry… I didn’t realise that drugs where legal…Shit…Damn you Police for policing the FUCKING LAW!!!

In what twisted fucking state do you have to be in to go: Oh shit Cops, I have three illegal pills, I must swallow them… THROW THEM THE FUCK AWAY!!!!! I cannot fathom why this moron swallowed them… Here is how this should have went:

1. Put pills in hand
2. Open hand
3. Watch pills hit ground
4. Walk the fuck away….

Did I miss something, or is that just far far too simple…. WTF?!!??!?!

The media have described this as a ‘tragedy’ and is defined as: ‘a disastrous event’.  Now I’m no genius, far from it, but I don’t think this falls under disastrous, with the definition including: very unfortunate…… Now that’s interesting… Unfortunate… I really don’t see this being unfortunate, as it was AVOIDABLE!!!!

People are being very shortsighted here, sure a beautiful young girl has died… BUT WHAT THE FUCK WAS A TEENAGER DOING WITH DRUGS!?!?!?!?!? Fuck the fact there were sniffer dogs… Guess what? Take the pills out of this situation and she’s STILL WALKING AROUND TODAY!!!!

I cannot believe the YACWA coming out and saying that it is: “irresponsible to target popular music events, without first working with young people to educate them about their rights” Their rights?!?!?!? Their FUCKING RIGHTS!?!?!? It’s an ILLICIT SUBSTANCE… As in ILLEGAL!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

Some people need to pull their heads out of their arses and smell the rotting corpses… Don’t fucking stand on a soapbox and throw stones from your glasshouses… For fucks sake… Stand back and look at the real issue…

Fucktards…. I might go drop acid, then blame Connex when I overdose for increasing my stress levels… Do go in to bat for me against Connex will you… For fucks sake… *shakes head*

Just google “fuck Korea” and head over to images….

They Say:

Australian farmers have been dealt another blow with an Asian clothing giant joining the growing global boycott of Australian wool.

South Korea-based Kukdong Corporation, a manufacturer and distributor of the Pierre Cardin, NAFNAF and Jack & Jill brands, announced it is “committed to eliminating Australian wool from our supply chain completely”.

Kukdong is opposed to Australian wool farmers’ use of the controversial technique of mulesing and joins retail giants Nike, Gap, Marks & Spence, Hugo Boss, Abercrombie & Fitch, Timberland, H&M, American Eagle, Columbia Sports Wear and Liz Claiborne in the protest.

US-based animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has led the global ban.

Kukdong’s chief executive SK Byun confirmed the company would seek wool from countries other than Australia.

“Our customers demand ethically sourced material, and as a result Kukdong Corporation is committed to eliminating Australian wool from our supply chain completely,” Kukdong chief executive SK Byun wrote in an email to PETA.

We Say:

If there was ever a more useless fucking organisation in the world, it HAS to be PETA… Seriously… Fuck me…

Of all that is happening in the world today, just look at those fucking Israelis and Palestinians, fuck they’re dumbasses… Mind you that could be the subject of another rant, but god, that would be a big a waste of time as fighting over 360 square kilometres of land… Seeing as Israel is 20 THOUSAND square kilometres big…. *shakes head and sighs*

Anyway, back to all things useless… PETA… Of all the problems in the world, we’re going to make a fuss over MULESING!!!  I mean come the FUCK on!!!! Sure it could be considered barbaric and cruel, but I can fucking assure you that it’s a damn sight better than a goddamn MAGGOT INFESTATION!!! I’m going to assume that no fucktard from PETA or South (the pussies) Korea have witnessed a sheep that has been flyblown!??!?! I think fucking not! I’ve seen a flyblown sheep getting shorn and low-and-behold the skin is broken, thus a mass of maggots spews forth from it’s rump… And for those that have not witnessed it, yep, it really is as bad as it sounds… And the smell, I wont go there….

I’ve found a video that does not show this as graphically as I describe it, but you can imagine the pain this sheep is going through: http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=zjwwVXLPQgA, now compare that to being crutched… A little pain or a lot of pain that generally leads to death…

Perhaps the executives from this moronic Korean corporation should come over to Australia and shear some flyblown sheep in their designer fucking clothes…

They say they’re comitted to eliminating Australian wool from their supply chain… Well I’m now committed to giving Koreans a fucking hard time about it… Unfortunately they’re tarred us all with the same brush, I’m more than willing to do the same…

For those that will bitch about their being other methods, get fucked, it’s worked for years, dont make me bitch slap you…

To Kukdong Corporation, I say, get a fucking website, so I can hack it…

It was xmas eve for fucks sake….

Couple bashed by youths

They Say:

 Paul and his wife Ilse were watching Carols by Candlelight on television when they heard a bang outside their Noble Park home.

Ilse thought it might have been a car accident so Paul went outside to investigate.

Four youths were kicking around a rubbish bin. When he remonstrated with them, asking “would you do this at your house?”, things turned “volatile”.

Paul said three of the youths, who were of an African background, approached him. “I copped one in the eye,” he said. He was punched again in the eyes, and yelled to his wife to call the police.

Paul, 56, who works as a volunteer at a local asylum seeker organisation, told his attackers: “I help people like you.”

One attacker told Paul, who suffered fractures under the eyes: “Don’t worry, you have proved you are a man.”

Paul believes his attackers may be from one of the communities he assists at the asylum seeker centre and is trying to understand what may have motivated their actions.

“I work at a place that helps people like this, and you see the trouble they come from and you see the young ones that are growing up and they have a different outlook on life and their future is in Australia,” Paul said.

“But when you see these other ones that are caught in the past, all I would like to say to them is, ‘This is Australia, you have an opportunity, make the most of it. Don’t ruin it for you family and your friends.’ ”

We Say:

*clears throat* ahem…

Lets run down some interesting points from this event, shall we…

1. It was xmas eve….
2. The youths that bashed this couple where, in the main, of African descent, most likely asylum seekers, correct?
3. The bloke works at a fucking REFUGEE ASYLUM SEEKER CENTRE!!! 

Are you fucking kidding me!?!?!??! That’s right people, you read correctly, these African youths bashed a guy that fucking HELPS asylum seekers, talk about a god damn kick in the guts, both literally and figuratively!

In fact, we should not even be angry at the fact that he works as a volunteer, simply because it was Christmas FUCKING EVE!!!!! Who the fucking hell goes out looking for trouble on Christmas eve!?!?!??! If these fucktards are ever caught, they should be sat down and played hours and hours of the atrocities they have left behind in their home countries and say, “Do you want to go back to this, or do you want to stay in the best goddamn country in the freaking world!??!?!” If they answer yes, reply with, “It was xmas fucking eve… And he is a volunteer at an asylum seeker centre, WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?!?!?!?”

I dont even think they realise now the irony in that… But…. Here are some examples of irony that is as bad, if not possibly worse…

• A drunk driver crashing his car into an alcohol rehabilitation centre….
• A terrorist organisation bombing the headquarters of the bank that a majority of their funding rests at….
• An arsonist that is a firefighter… Strange, but (sadly)true…
• Taking a hit before entering a Alcoholics Anonymous meeting…

Needless to say that this couple where the victim of a gang of retards… I mean serious guys, xmas eve… And he yelled out: “I help people like you!”

They are reintroducing corporal punishment for youths…. Right? *Heads off to look at starting a petition*

Assface…

Father denies killing wife

They Say:
“A man who left his three-year-old daughter at Melbourne’s Southern Cross station says he is being framed for murdering his wife in New Zealand. Nai Yin Xue claims another man killed her and stuffed the body into the boot of his car.

Xue, 54, fled Auckland in September soon after his wife disappeared. He abandoned his daughter Qian Xun at Southern Cross before flying to the USA. The girl was dubbed Pumpkin after a logo on her clothes.

The body of Anan Liu, 27, was found in the boot of a car outside the couple’s house in Auckland.
A manhunt for Xue ended five months later near Atlanta, Georgia. He was flown to New Zealand to face a murder charge.

Xue’s lawyer, Chris Comeskey, said yesterday his client “would vigorously defend the murder charge on the grounds he was not Liu’s killer”. He said he planned to hire a private investigator to find the man Xue claims killed his wife.”

We Say:

Wake up and smell the lies people… This fucking oxygen thief is seriously kidding himself isn’t he…? Oh… no no let’s forget the fact that you DUMPED YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER IN AUSTRALIA!

So fuck yea assface, we’ll believe that you dumped your daughter in Australia, then fled to the US as a typical holiday for you… Well fuck me I’d hate to see a longer term trip plan….

1. Beat son to within an inch of his life - dump in Brazil
2. Blindfold and torture Aunty - dump in Russia
3. Hog tie brother in law - dump in Sri Lanka
4. Perform stupid martial art - get filmed doing it
5. Visit EuroDisney in Paris, France
6. Go walkabout in Afghanistan
   

Just see that you go dancing with the Taliban while in Afghanistan, you fat fucker…

I pity the judge that handles this case, they’re going to need a portable sewing machine to stitch their sides up once they’ve heard his story…

Take it like a man you gutless pig… You killed her….

So… you’ve been using your Three BlackBerry with your email setup for a while and think to yourself, Gee this default signature: ‘Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on 3′ is pretty ordinary. so you want to change it… Well don’t bother calling Three, they’re no help what-so-ever… Follow the setups below to change it yourself…

1. Goto ‘email settings’ on your BlackBerry
2. Goto ‘Create User Name’
3. Enter in a desired username, this will be your BlackBerry account
4. On the next screen it will ask you to confirm your email password, this is not the password you entered on the page before.
5. It will confirm that your account has been created
6. Open a browser window and goto: http://three.blackberry.com
7. Login using the account you just created.
8. Under ‘Valid Email Account’ select ‘Edit’
9. Go down to ‘Signature’ under ‘General Settings’ to alter your signature!

Half the issue with all of this was knowing the three.blackberry.com address, Three support didn’t know this URL themselves, I was just told to ‘goto the Blackberry website and create a user name.’ Right, and I know every URL for every service off the top of my head….

This should never have happened

Boat driver in fatal crash revealed

They Say:
“Cocktail barman Percy Small has been named as the man at the wheel of the runabout when it crashed into a larger fishing boat, killing six people.Detectives investigating the crash will compare forensic evidence and witness statements after it was initially claimed Matthew Reynolds was at the helm.The two boats collided on Sydney Harbour a week ago about 2.40am (AEST) near Bradleys Head.

Of the 14 people on the overloaded, 23-foot runabout, six died and eight were injured, including Mr Reynolds who remains in hospital in a satisfactory condition.It is believed those on board have also claimed that a third person may have been at the wheel during some point in the journey, News Limited reports.

Witnesses have told police that after Mr Reynolds, a qualified skipper, negotiated the boat from Balmain Wharf he handed the controls over to Mr Small. Mr Small, who holds a boating licence and did not appear affected by alcohol, safely took the boat across the harbour to Watsons Bay. On their way back to Balmain, the boats collided, and it is believed both boats had their lights on at the time, News Limited reports.”

We Say:
I feel for the people that have died in this accident, but it should never had happened…

I don’t believe the weight of those that died on the planner and\or ’skipper’ of the boats’ soul will be enough, how could someone be so STUPID as to ‘borrow’ someones boat and go for a joyride in the middle of the night…
The boat was overloaded, everyone was affected by alcohol in some way or another and then to ‘borrow’ someones boat that you only knew distantly… What the fuck?

I think I might borrow the next flashy car I see in the street, if I have an accident my excuse for borrowing it will be: “Oh I know their third cousin through someone my uncle plays cricket with once a year” NOT GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN!!!

Mind you, how fucking moronic to get on the boat in the first place, idiots… a tragedy nonetheless, but how easily avoided it could have been…

And to ANYONE who even TRIES to blame the fishing trawler, wake up and smell the alcohol, fool…

Padded lampposts for distracted texters

They Say:
“According to a recent report, human beings are becoming so incredibly stupid that they require cushioned lamppost bases so that when they run into them they don’t mess up their idiotic faces. Apparently, a study in the UK found that one in ten people actually managed to hurt themselves by walking into a post while peering down at their mobile phone screen. The mishaps — called “walking and texting” injuries — have spurred the charity Living Streets to launch the padded-post-pilot scheme in Brick Lane, London. It seems that if all goes well, there are plans to roll out the idiot-proof system in Birmingam, Manchester, and Stupidton.”

We Say:
Ho… Wha… Wh… *brain explodes*

Are we such fucking IDIOTIC lemmings that we seriously need to trial these things…? Surely not… I had held greater hopes for mankind, but my hopes have been dashed…

If you watch the movie attached to the above article, you will surely shake your head as hard as I did… Please tell me that this is some sort of joke?  The mind boggles, surely getting an injury in such a way would ward against you doing it again, right?  Well with padded fucking posts people will be bouncing off them left, right and centre… Hey let’s just not watch where we’re going at all, let’s just pad everything on the street… Coming to a dealership near you, the new Ford Foam… with padded panels for your safety… Give me a fucking break… If you’re going to text… STOP WALKING!

And to the Indian dude that reads his book while walking out of the train station in the mornings, if I have to slow down for you once more, I *WILL* mow you down… And I won’t come with fucking padding either… You’re on notice… 

Two words… Fuck… That…

Our office has had a resident huntsman spider, Sammy, for the last week, two nights ago he moved from his usual spot above the Sales Managers office door.

He was found by a few staff members, but his whereabouts remained a mystery to most… Until today that is… One of the female staff members found him in a corridor that leads to our lunchroom… And of course a bit hoo-ha was made about it and calls for it to be disposed with…

We’ve recently had a new staff member come on board, a new MD, this new staff member has served time in Vietnam, so he’s no pushover… He walks up to the spider, reaches up and prods it a few times and it falls onto his shirt! Cool as a cucumber he cups it in both his hands, walks outside and lets it go in the front garden! People sat in amazement as our new MD calmly walked through the office with a massive huntsman spider cupped in his hands…

A coworker and myself were just discussing this on MSN, he’s of Asian descent, originally from Hong Kong, he has lived in Australia since he was 3… So he’s an Aussie through and through… Of what just happened he said, “It must have been Nam!” and continued, “yeah don’t want to cross him!! He’ll put you in a death lock!! Fuck imagine if my name was Charlie!! He’ll go crazy!!”

Now that is a sense of humour…. I had to share that joke…

That’s right dude, your brother was an idiot….

Car Hits Md. Street-Race Crowd; 8 Killed

They Say:
“A car plowed into a group of street-racing fans obscured by a cloud of tire smoke on a highway Saturday, killing eight people and scattering bodies in the early morning darkness. At least five others were injured in the gruesome wreck along a flat, isolated stretch of highway about 20 miles south of Washington known for illegal races.

About 50 people were gathered before dawn along Route 210 as two cars spun their wheels, kicked up smoke and sped off, said Prince George’s County police Cpl. Clinton Copeland. Fans had spilled onto the smoky, dark road to watch the cars drive away when a white Ford Crown Victoria unexpectedly came up from behind and smashed into them. “There were just bodies everywhere; it was horrible,” said Crystal Gaines, 27, of Indian Head, whose father was killed. Police interviewed the Crown Victoria driver, but no charges were pending, Copeland said. Authorities were looking for the drivers of the two cars involved in the race.

The combination of the smoke and the dark morning likely meant the unsuspecting driver could not see the crowd, police said. A tractor-trailer that came by shortly afterward may also have struck someone on the roadside as it tried to avoid the crash scene, according to investigators. The Crown Victoria, which had a crumpled hood and a partially collapsed roof, ended up down an embankment with one of the victims lodged inside.”

We Say:
Anyone for irony here at all? Fans of illegal street racing, killed… *gasp* By a car while they were watching an illegal street race… This borders on funny to be honest… The families if these morons have no one to blame but the people themselves, they took the risk of being there… For fucks sake, it’s an illegal event… No crowd control… No security… No OH&S regulations… You fucking idiots…

I can’t get over this statement…”About 50 people were watching the race, Gaines said, and she saw the Crown Victoria approach without its lights on. She grabbed her daughter, pulling the girl to safety. But her father, William Gaines Sr., 61, had a broken leg, and was not able to get away in time.”
Let me get this straight… She grabbed her daughter, not her father… So there are three generations of the same family at an illegal street race… Hmmm, just a fucking pity they all weren’t hit, I’m just guessing here, as I don’t think this family is at the top of the food chain… Err… Trucks and keg parties anyone? Something’s gotta be wrong up top to have three generations of the same family at an event like this, anyone want petrol with their cereal this morning? You goddamn oxygen thieves…

I feel sorry for the driver of the ‘Ford Crown Victoria’, whatever the fuck that is(?), not quite sure how you can see what’s ahead of you when the road is shrouded in fucking tire smoke from the start of a street race… Although he did not have his lights on, it does not really matter, lights or no lights, visibility through tire smoke is fucking shocking… I think he should be given the keys to the city for his service to the community… Hey, he knocked out eight people that would be otherwise wasting their unemployment benefits or rotting in their jails… Seems like a fair situation, right?